Tonight as I was holding my sick baby boy and watching Paw Patrol, I couldn’t help but keep looking at this picture on my mantle. It is a picture that my little girl painted. She was very proud of this, as she is everything she does. She was even prouder when I framed it. I think she kind of felt like a big-timer. She is 3 (almost 4), and she is so full of energy and life. She loves to be noticed and for you to be proud of her. The simple act of framing her art made her day.
Why was I staring at this picture? Well, I honestly don’t know. Maybe it was just a place that my eyes settled as I actually sat down for 5 minutes to take in a little bit of needed rest and hold my baby. Maybe it is because it brings my heart happiness to look at it, and I needed that smile tonight. I don’t know, but I do know that lately I have been to a point that I have just honestly needed rest. I was/am overwhelmed. It isn’t easy to admit that you truly aren’t superwoman, but in my case, it is the cold, hard truth. My mind goes 90 to nothing 24 hours a day with all of the many things that I want and need to do, and sometimes I feel like I can’t catch a breath. I feel the weight of all that I have on my plate, some of which I brought on myself and some of which I certainly didn’t. I am no different than most women. I work hard and have big dreams for myself and my family. I think I can do everything all the time and don’t need to ever stop. My dad has always said, “I can rest when I’m dead”, and I wonder sometimes if I have heard that enough that I have started living it!
I decided to write this post because, to be honest, I think there are a lot of women out there that can relate. I am a new blogger. I have actually only had this blog for 2 months. It has seriously been the best 2 months ever, and I have seen God work through this blog to show me so many things. I have had great feedback, and I do know I am doing what God wants me to do by investing my time into this. But by saying that, sometimes I have let this get me to a point that I have started to make myself feel completely overwhelmed by this. I have more projects piled up than the law allows, and more “room reveals” than I can ever possibly get done (or so it feels!). Every time I see a blank wall, my mind goes crazy thinking about all of the great things I could do and show you! I have pushed myself so hard that I can’t keep up with my own self. It is almost like if I don’t get all of these projects done and all of these posts written, this blog will fail. Nobody will think I am serious or want to follow me. I won’t have what it takes to keep up with all of the other awesome bloggers who have posts and awesome content for days. Well folks, let me tell you…I KNOW none of that is true…and if it were, there are none of us who would ever make it. I am a real working woman with a 2 year old and a 3 year old. My house is not straight out of a magazine, and no matter how hard I try…there are always dishes piled up, laundry flowing out of the baskets and macaroni noodles stuck to the walls. That is my real life. This blog is a reflection of that, and no matter what happens, I want to share that with you…whether it be a room that I do finally finish, a table that actually turns out like I meant for it to or a DIY project that I don’t completely slaughter. And sometimes, like today, it may be a time that I just need to “share” my thoughts.
This past week has simply been one of those weeks. It has been full of the unexpected, deadlines that have seemed impossible to meet, sick babies, projects that simply can’t be completed in any kind of timely manner, meals that I had the best of intentions to cook but simply never found the time, laundry that was left in the washer for way too long and had that “smell” {yeah, embarrassing…but I would say 99% of you know what I am talking about}, being completely misunderstood despite my best intentions, losing my temper on a precious little 3 year old girl simply because I couldn’t take 5 minutes to stop and catch my breath to actually listen to her true needs, and the list could truly go on forever. Have you been there? Are you like me and there now? Well, let me give you some encouragement. You are enough. And let me tell you something else…it is ok to feel overwhelmed. The truth is, this life is overwhelming. It is ok to feel it, and it is ok to voice it. It can get the best of the best of us. Just because you feel overwhelmed does not mean that you are weak. It does not mean that you have too little faith or don’t appreciate what you have been given. It means that you have done all that you can and you need to stop and rest. You need to lay it all down and give it all up. Psalm 61:12 says, “From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. ” The Lord is our refuge in times of need, and He wants us to come to Him and lay our burdens at His feet. He wants to wipe our tears and comfort our aching hearts. He wants to encourage us to move forward on this journey that we are on because He sees the outcome and He knows that we are the ones that He specifically designed to walk that path. We are enough.
Tonight as I write this, tears form in my eyes because I know that God is speaking to me so boldly. I feel like He is saying to me, stop worrying…I have got this. Trust me. Give it to me. And you know what, that is what I am going to do. I have to. I can’t do all of this alone, and why would I want to? In the end, these projects and posts that I worry so much about will not make or break me. This blog and the success that I hope it has will not define me. The perfectly planned out day with my kids that include every fun thing they could ever dream of doing is not what will make me that “perfect mom”. It is those moments that I stop and truly watch and listen. It is when I am fully engaged and not thinking about all the other things I need to do. All of these earthly accomplishments that I hope for will not be what will bring me joy. In the end, the only thing that will make me whole is to live a life that is fully reliant on the Lord and let Him carry me when I know I can’t walk on my own. Tonight I am so thankful for a blog to share these thoughts and a God who listens to even my pettiest of fears and anxieties.
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28:7
Linking up at:
http://www.liverandomlysimple.com
http://www.huckleberrylove.com
http://www.pocketofposies.com/
http://justagirlandherblog.com/
http://www.andersonandgrant.com/
http://www.designertrapped.com/
Last Updated on July 27, 2015
Brooke you words are so beautiful, I think as women we put so much pressure on ourselves to do EVERYTHING! I know I am guilty of that. I always have a million things on my “to do” list. It is nice to know I am not alone. xo
Thank you so much, Gilly! This post was certainly really close to my heart. I appreciate you letting me know that it touched you too.
Beautifully written! And, Thank You for sharing your thoughts; I have found my life, even in retirement, spins out of control occasionally! Even when it does, I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Being busy and having a “To Do” list of projects and dreams just make me aware that I am living my life to the fullest. I had to laugh when I read your dad’s statement…I have often said the same words!
Thank you, Carol! I am not sure that I have ever looked at it like that before {just knowing you are living life to the fullest}, but it is a great thing to remember in the midst of the madness! 🙂
Annnnd, I’m crying. I’m so glad you shared. I think every woman can relate. Love ya girl!
Aww…thanks Katie. I was too. I knew it was something I had to write. I love you! 🙂
sometimes we have to let go of “important” things…our lives are not judged by how pretty our house is or what a fantastic meal we cooked. It is measured by the love that we create and are surrounded by. Family and friends … and charity for those more needful than us. Breathe…….
You are right…that was exactly the whole point of this post 🙂
Brooke – I am siting here reading your post and feeling every bit of it with you! It has been a crazy week. I am down my regular computer, lost wallet, missed flights, sick mama and baby and everything in between. Not to mention my house is a disaster. thank you for writing this. It helps be bring it all back into perspective! Thank you for sharing at Dream. Create. Inspire. Link! I think this is just what I needed today!
Cat
Thank you so much for sharing that, Cat! I am glad it touched you and was what you needed to hear today! I sure hope your week gets better and that God will give you rest and relaxation 🙂