When You Just Have to Say No

 

As we approach the busiest time of year, I have really had this post pressing on my heart. As you know, I mostly post about home decorations, DIY projects, room renovations and creative ideas in general. But, this blog is more than just those things to me. It is also a place where I can share my heart, my life with you. I already feel like I know so many of you personally, and I love that. I feel connected to my readers, and I want to always make sure that although I love to decorate, I always keep it real and let you in, on occasions, to the real me behind this blog. I am as real as they come. I have a messy house. I have kids who throw tantrums in public. I am too sensitive. I feel overwhelmed sometimes. I have a hard time resting. I am not just someone who wants to hide behind this blog and put on a show. I want you to know me. I know that not all bloggers feel the same way as me. Many want to stay disconnected, and there is not one thing wrong with that. I am not like that. I blog because I want to be able to connect with people from all over by sharing my home, my style, my easy projects, and sometimes…my heart.

This is one of those posts. A post from the ole ticker. Tonight, I attended a progressive dinner with about 120 ladies from my church. I have to admit, it has been rainy here for more days in a row than I care to count…and today was no exception. After working all day, I was tired, like everyone else. It was another rainy day, and UK basketball was going to be on, and I honestly thought to myself, “Maybe I should just stay home and skip tonight.” I know that sounds bad, but I know I am not alone on those thoughts from time to time! But, alas, I went. And of course, I had a fantastic time with ladies that I never get to spend time with. I wasn’t with any family or close friends that I hang out with on a regular basis, but I was with other women, just like me and you. We laughed and talked and had a great time visiting the homes of other women in our church family.

At the main course, a good friend of mine shared a short devotion. One of the topics she touched on hit home and reminded me again of why I needed to write this post. You see, I have wanted to write this for a couple of weeks now, but I kept putting it off for another time. Now is the time. I think it is something we all need to hear and remember. Tonight, Amy spoke a little bit about if we trusted God enough to rest. You may be like me and think, “What is rest?!?!” Well, it is simply stopping and taking in the moment. It is letting go of your worries and handing them over to a God who is more than capable of taking care of them. It is sitting down and simply BEING. That is rest. We as women do not like to rest. I mean, yes, we like to…but we don’t do it. We go go go nonstop, and we take care of this and take care of that…and we sign up for this and sign up for that. We literally never stop. Or at least I feel like I don’t, and I know I am not alone. We think this world will not go on if we ever take a break. We think the house will crumble if we don’t sweep those crumbs right that second. Well, guess what? It won’t. But you know who might crumble if you don’t stop? YOU.

I can truly attest to the fact that if you don’t stop and let go of the stress, it will take over you. It can take over your body, and it can take over your mind. It happened to me about a year and a half ago, and I have never been exactly the same since. Grant it, I am doing awesome and have ZERO to complain about. What I am saying is, if you don’t slow down, God will find a way to make you. He did me. I had what the doctors think was either a mini stroke or a very severe panic attack that mimicked a stroke. They still can’t decide what it was, and I am still undergoing some tests to try to get to the bottom of everything. Doctors monitor my heart closely now, and I have had to start taking a step back on some things that I used to do with ease. To the naked eye, you would never know that there was even the slightest struggle in day to day life, but there is. I had to come to a point in my life where I had to evaluate everything from start to finish and figure out areas that I could stop and “rest”…areas that I could say no. I am saying all of this because I want you to realize that it is ok to stop. It is ok to rest. And it is certainly ok to say no. As women, I feel like we over-obligate ourselves. We feel like if someone asks us to do something, or if there is something that someone needs a volunteer for, it HAS to be us. If there is a need, we have to meet it. While those things are fantastic, and God wants us to help and have a giving heart, I also think He wants us to recognize when we have reached our full capacity and need to say no. Only you know when you are over extended, and over extended looks different for each individual. Mine and yours is probably nowhere close to the same. I have always struggled with saying no to someone if they ask me to do something. I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings or for anyone to think I don’t care enough or do enough. I always worry about “others” opinions of me if I say no. Don’t get me wrong, I still do…but my mindset has really changed over the past year. I have realized that I can only handle so much, and there are just times I cannot give anymore of myself that what I have. Everything I do give, I want to give with my whole heart, but when I have to take a step back, well, I have to take a step back. I won’t take shame in that anymore. I have to rest, and I have to take care of myself. I want to encourage you in this upcoming holiday season to take the time to rest and enjoy this time. Enjoy the crazy, but also stop for long enough to enjoy some silence. If you are overwhelmed and feel like you are stretched beyond your limit, say no. Say, not this time. Only you know your limit, and only you can control how far past it you allow yourself to go. Set those limits and do not let one single person shame you. Rejuvenate yourself this Christmas season so that when you are giving of yourself, you are giving your very best! Don’t let the demands of the season bring you down to a point that you can’t enjoy this time that is given you.

I appreciate you all so much, and while I don’t write many posts like this, I write them because we are all in this together.  I hope that by writing this, it can touch at least one woman.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

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Last Updated on January 16, 2016