41 trips around the sun, and the meaning it has to me

When I entered into 2024, I was FULL of expectation. I truly believed it was going to be the best year of my life. I anticipated so many things, and I just KNEW that it would be better than I could imagine.

I could have never understood the magnitude of heartache that year would hold.

I could have never prepared for the pivots and changes that year would hold.

I could have never prepared for the mental strain that year would hold…what it would have on my family.

It was the hardest year of my life to date.

So much of what happened was “behind the scenes” that is not a story to tell yet. Maybe one day. So much of it is hard to put into words…but even if I could, I don’t think I could convey what it truly felt like to go through it.

You see, what I have found is that God certainly does not always show us what is coming…because if He did, we would try to change the trajectory. We would not want to stay the course to get to the other side. We would be looking for a different way to bypass the hardship. So, in his all knowing, ever so kind character, He just guides us one step at a time. He shows us each next step. He doesn’t show the full staircase.

As I look back on this past year, I am thankful for that.

The year was brutal, but the lessons were mandatory and life changing. I can sit here today and say that He has shown me more in this past year than I have perhaps seen in all 40 years combined before that, and that is saying a lot.

Today, I want to share with you why the number 41 is so important to me as I just celebrated my 41st birthday yesterday.

There is deep meaning, and I feel like it rings so TRUE to my life…

I did not write this, but I don’t know who did to give them credit.

The Meaning of 41

In the Bible, the number 41 is often used to represent hope, a new beginning, and overcoming challenges, with examples found in stories like Noah’s flood, Moses’s desert wanderings, and David’s battle with Goliath.

**Here’s a more detailed look at the significance of “41” in the Bible:***

Noah’s Flood:

After 40 days and 40 nights of rain, the rain stopped on day 41, symbolizing a new beginning and the promise of a fresh start.

Moses:

After Moses committed murder, he hid in the desert for 40 years. Year 41 came, and God gave Moses a second chance, commissioning him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

David and Goliath:

For 40 days, Goliath taunted the Israelites. On day 41, David slew Goliath, representing hope and victory after a period of hardship.

Isaiah 41:

This chapter in Isaiah is a message of comfort and encouragement, promising God’s help and protection to those who trust in Him.

Psalm 41:

This psalm focuses on the blessings that come to those who care for the weak and are afflicted, and it speaks of God’s protection and restoration.

What does this tell me?

It tells me that God is a God of restoration!! He is a God of HOPE!

I was in a desert last year…I was in my year 40. It felt like it wouldn’t end. It felt too hard. It felt like there was no hope in some ways. It felt scary. It felt uncertain. It felt everything all rolled into one. It felt like I had no control, because I didn’t. It felt like I was not strong enough to overcome…but in HIM, I found strength I didn’t know I had.

I realized in that 40th year that I am AN OVERCOMER!

I realized that I am MADE MORE MORE!

I realized that there is absolutely nobody that can exclude me from what God made me to do on this Earth. No person can allow me to feel inferior or excluded, when I know WHOSE I AM! I am CHOSEN by God, even if not by people.

I realized that I am MORE BLESSED than I was allowing myself to focus on, because the devil had started getting control of some of my mind…and I was believing his lies.

I realized that I absolutely DO have some of the most LOYAL and amazing friends I could ever dream of and the loneliness I felt was a lie, and I have now fully stepped into those friendships that I realized I had put a wall around because I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t trust. I had been hurt too much to open up…and I will no longer live that way.

I realized I have to let women love me. I can’t go on with walls so tall that nobody can get to me because of fear of being hurt or left. I realized that was a debilitating problem that I had let control me for a long time…and because of that, I was hurting myself far more than anyone else could.

I realized that in order for God to use me, I had to pluck and prune so many things…things I didn’t want to but things that were NECESSARY for growth and fruitfulness.

I realized that when I did these things, transformation started to happen.

I realized that my entire life started to shift again!

I realized the sun shone brighter for me.

I realized how close God was to me that entire year and how he NEVER, no NOT EVER, left my side.

I realized that in the moments of my lowest, when I tried to cry out to people that didn’t have time or attention, HE DID!

I realized that was truly all I ever needed.

And best of all, I realized that I am now in my 41.

I have been restored out of hardship. I have been given a brand NEW beginning, even in the same place I started…where I believed I needed to leave…and still do believe I needed to leave, even if it was to be right back where I started.

I don’t know the why’s. I probably never will…although God is starting to slowly show me some of that in ways I didn’t expect.

I don’t know what the future holds. I never will.

But I do know this…

My 41 IS GOING TO BE MY BEST YEAR YET!